The Waiting Game?

Well it is Monday and as for me that's about all that can be said about it. It was a not so hot weekend here for me. Lots of things went off course this week but the big one was when the transmission on my car gave out suddenly and unexpectedly. Lets just say I am glad to move on to a new week with my long awaited vacation only a few days out! 


Today I wanted to talk about the waiting game that we infertlie's get tied up in. It seems the first lesson you learn when trying to conceive is to wait. You start waiting for the first day of your period so that the counting can commence. When you get to the first day of your period then a two week wait starts as you anticipate ovulation! So you wait and wait and finally you see that egg white CM or you get a + OPK. Which starts a shorter wait for you husband to get home that night! Which intern starts off a new two week wait also know as TTW. Wonderfully the day comes to test and then after a two minute wait that seems like two hours, if you are very blessed the cycle will stop, but for most of us the waiting cycle starts all over again.


If that wasn't bad enough in the midst of this cycle we are waiting for the next fertility appointment, ultra sound, clomid cycle, IUI, IVF, SA, FET, and chance to talk to our doctor instead of a nurse! All this waiting is enough to make a sane woman crazy! 


I think the worst thought among all this waiting is when does it end? Will it end?


There is no answer to that question. For some soon, for others who knows. There was a point in the middle of this journey that the only hope, the only thing I had to look forward to was my next appointment. Living this way is terrible, there is no joy and no substance in life. There will come a time when this season in our lives will end. For some it will end in pregnancy, some adoption, whether embryo or after birth, some becoming content as they are, some a miracle, some in despair. 


This journey makes us feel like we have no control. Like a leaf swept down a raging river. We can over come! We can choose to let infertility define us, or we can define infertility! Infertility is NOT who we are, or what we are. It is an obstacle that God has placed in our lives to make us stronger, deeper, and wiser. I would not wish infertility on anyone, but I would not trade the lessons I have learned for anything. I have learned how to love my husband deeper. How to live better. To make the most of what I have right now! To really love God and trust him even in the worst of times. 


Our joy should not depend on our circumstances. If it did we would never have joy in our lives. Joy comes only from the Lord. Whether infertility or finances there will always be some obstacle to overcome and some journey ahead of us. 


Today ponder these questions:


So who will you choose to be? What will you let define who you are? What will determine your happiness? What are you waiting for?




We will not let our circumstances rule our lives. We will not.